3 signs my brain might be hardwired to the internet

I work online which is kind of like being part of a different culture all day.  It's why the elections have turned me into a political writer -- I hate politics but I hear from around the world how our cartoon behavior is affecting real human beings and my fingers just start typing.  It's involuntary.  I deeply want to take a break from that so I thought I'd show you some other ways my other culture is affecting my brain.    

1.  They're everywhere.

When my mom was in physical therapy recently, we tried to do a jigsaw in the lounge there, but a few edge pieces were missing.  My immediate thought?  TROLLS!  Of course I instagrammed it.  #trollsIRL 

2.  Creepy.

The cat was waking up and I knew he would want attention but I was working. So I whispered to him from the desk, and across the room he closed his eyes and clawed a blanket like I was right there petting him. I thought oh no -- I've conditioned the cat to respond to ASMR.   

And as I'm writing this I think OMG cats + ASMR = internet GOLD.  I have to make a channel NOW!   And...stop it.  Right there.  Just...stahhhp.  

3.  I need counseling.

I was visiting a church and the worship lyrics were in a nearly-ironic font.  Not quite Comic Sans, but close enough to make me grin inappropriately.  Then one of the slides read, "Our God SAVES!" and my mind added, "dat font tho".  I nearly cracked myself up right there in church.  It's an illness.  I'm gonna go outside now.